Humor Messages

In A Vampire Restaurant, Everyone Was Ordering Hot Blood Of Teenage Girls As Drink,a Vampire Ordered Hot Water, All Started Taunting A Dracula Should Be Ashamed...

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Manager: What Is Your Qualification? Santa:- Sir, I Am Phd. Manager:(shocked) What Do U Mean By Phd? Santa:- Sir Passed Highschool With Difficulty...

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Do U Know What Does The Computer Think Of You When U Sit In Front Of It . . . . . . Intel Inside.... Idiot Outside

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Im So Angry! Did My Bit For Help The Disabled Today But I Lost 3 R*****s, 1 At Maccyds, 1 At Tescos, And Where The Heck Did U Go?

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Q: Why Was The Blondes' Belly Button Sore ? A: Because Her Boyfriend Was Blonde Too.

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Teacher: What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller? Pappu: A Girl On The Cover And No Cover On The Girl.

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Men Who Don't Understand Women Fall Into Two Groups: Bachelors And Husbands

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There Are 206 Bones In The Human Body....... Want Another One?

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What Is The Longest Word In The English Language? Smiles: There Is A Mile Between The First And Last Letters!

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How To Satisfy A Woman Always - Love, Give Flowers, Praise, Charm, Humor, Entertain, Cuddle, Caress, Etc..... How To Satisfy A Man Always - Show Up N***d !...

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Are You Free Tonight, Or Will It Cost Me? I'm New In Town, Can You Give Me Directions To Your Flat?

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A French Husband Was Returning Home After Cremating His Wife. He Sees Heavy Lightning And Thunderstorm In The Sky. Husband Thinks: She Must Have Reached There...

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Without Humor, Life Sux. Without Love, Life Is Hopeless. Without Courage, Life Is Hard. Ithout Friends Like You, Life Is Impossible!

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Q: When Do You Know You're Really Lonely? A: Your Own Tongue Starts To Feel Good In Your Mouth.

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A Man In Love Is Incomplete Until He Has Married. Then He's Finished.

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Q: What's The Difference Between A Blonde And A Solar Powered Calculator? A: The Blonde Works In The Dark!

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A Wife Asked Her Husband:what Do U Like Most In Me..,my Preety Face Ormy S*xy Body?? Husband(looked Her Head To Toe):ur Sense Of Humor!!

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Which Part... Of A Man's Body Has No Bone Full Of Veins Loves Pumping And Responsible 4 Making Love! Answer: Heart!!! But I Luv The Way U Think......

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So Many Options For Suicide: Poison, Sleeping Pills, Hanging, Jumping From A Building, Lying On Train Tracks, But We Chose Marriage, Slow N Sure!

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There Is: Hot-s*x, Fast-s*x, Safe-s*x, Group-s*x, Leather-s*x, Telephone-s*x, Cyber-s*x, And For People With Your Face: No-s*x!

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Before, I Am So Shy To Crack A Joke On You, Shy To Approach You, Or Even Talk To You Because I Am Afraid You Will Get Mad Easily.. But Everything Changed, Now ...

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Boy: My Gf Broke Up Wth Me Sent Me Da Kissng Pics Of Her Her New Bf..!! Frnd:oh..its 2 Bad..!! Boy: Yaa..i Know..dats Y I Sent Those Pics 2 Her Dad:d...

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Is Your Name Gillette? Because You're The Best A Man Can Get!

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A Funny Man His Wife Go To A Coffee House. Funny Man Buys 2 Cups Of Coffee. Funny Man: Drink Quickly... Drink Quickly... Before It Gets Cold. Wife: But Why.....

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Dogs Have Owners, Cats Have Staff !!!

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Press Down......down More......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost There......yeah......oh S**t......harder......so Good! Mmmm ...........

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You Laugh, I'll Laugh. You Cry, I'll Cry. You Jump Off A Bridge I'll Scream Can I Have Your New Cell Phone.

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The Best Anti-virus Program For A Computer Is Safe-s*x. Leave The Plastic Cover On The Floppy When Inserting In Drive.

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It's Important To Find A Man Who Has Money, A Man Who Adores You,a Man Who Is Great In The Sack. It's Also Imprtant That These 3 Men Should Never Meet!

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Live For Yourself,not For Others.. . . . . So Dont Show Your Answer Sheet In The Exam Hall To Others :p

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Do You Love Me ?? 1. Yes. 2. Yea 3. Of Course. 4. Definitely

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Why Do We All Marry? Because Romance Is Not The Only Element Of Life. We Should Also Know Horror, Terror, Suspense, Irony, Stupidity Tragedy Of Life....

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Do You Believe In Hereafter? Well Then I Guess You Know What Im Here After.

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Q: Why Did The Blonde Keep A Coat Hanger In Her Back Seat? A: In Case She Locks The Keys In Her Car.

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Tragedies Of Girl's Life: Good Looking Boys Are Not Good Boys Good Boys Are Not Good Looking Good Looking And Good Boys Are Married . Good Single Boys With Good...

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Q: What Do You Call Four Blondes In A Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin

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Wanna Play Army? I'll Lay Down And You Blow The H**l Out Of Me.

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Nice One : Postion Of Husband Is Like A Split Ac No Matter How Loud He Is Outside ,but Inside The House He Is Always Silent .

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Husband: I Want Divorce. My Wife Hasn't Spoken To Me In Six Months. Lawyer: Think About It Once Again. Wives Like That Are Hard To Get!

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My Supervisor Said, I Need Anger Management, I Told Him, I'm Angry Enough With The Management

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